Friday, October 22, 2010

Where He Put Things

He put his hand over my mouth,
assuring me with shushes, “Relax, you’ll like it.”

................................I didn’t, any more than you enjoy reading this.

He put bruises on my thighs,
my underwear down around my knees.

................................Bear [witness] with me here.

He put his penis inside me,
along with quite a few abrasions.

................................Breathe through the lines, don’t panic.

He put my arms up over my head, pinning me,
so skilled he must have had practice.

................................Stay with me.

He put fear in my gut, terrors in my nights,
and post-traumatic fugues in the mess he left of me.

................................Attend to my words.

By extension, he put pills down my throat,
cuts on my arms, and me in bed all day.

................................Softly. Gently. Unwrap the pain.

He put trust out of my reach until
he sat me on the psychiatrist’s couch.

................................Sit beside me. Listen.

He put me into training class to advocate for others,
strangely, leading me to college and grad school.

................................There are more of us here who can’t speak.

He put words in my mouth.
“Hold on.” “It’s not your fault.” “It gets better.”

7 comments:

  1. This is powerful - I'm sure you know. And it's important. I read it all, because I felt I owed that to you. The least we can do is not hide from reality.

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  2. I read it all. I remember the neighborhood kids, but I don't remember the other one. But I bet it sounded just like that. I only have the abrasions and scars and butt that still bleeds, that the doctors told me came from this.

    But at least now I can look at my hands without disassociating. That's a huge step.

    Keep writing this and I'll be right there with you, every word.

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  3. Love you to pieces, FLU, Presby Gal.

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  4. Powerful, and courageous. Every time I read work like this from you, I am thankful you have (and are) making your way through this Cyn.

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  5. impressive poetry...
    keep it up...

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  6. this is so powerful, so hard to read and unimagineable to know that you went through this hell--I'm so sorry

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Feel free to critique the poetry. I employ a sophisticated thick hide technology.